A 1D Kiki

[00:00:04] Speaker A: All the Michelandria stuff. It's like swirl City. And I'm like, uh huh. Who's that man that's holding you hostage to. [00:00:17] Speaker B: I'm screaming Stockholm syndrome. No control for this white dick. [00:00:27] Speaker A: Oh my God. Speaking of white dick. Hello. Hello, Disher. How's it going, you guys? We had to do a little one Direction small dish for you guys because if you are like me, you were a directioner and my editor bestie is a ride or die directioner. So I had to bring Megan back to. To talk about it. Hi Megan. How are you, bro? [00:01:03] Speaker B: I'm crashing out today. This is like today's the day we. I'm unwell. I'm unwell. I think that's just the short of it. I'm unwell. [00:01:12] Speaker A: Call me Alex Cooper, because I am unwell. Clock that. Clock it. No, I literally like woke up feeling like this weight on my shoulders. Okay, okay. So for my listeners who are not Directioners, didn't grow up in that time or really like fucked with them like that. Before the Beehive, before Swifties, before Nickelandria, there was the Directioners. I mean, for real, it down is one of my favorite fandoms that I've ever been a part of. Truly. Because the way that I made some friends for life, the way we would, the creativity that came out of it. I mean you literally started your career as editing, doing One Direction videos. [00:02:09] Speaker B: Okay. But I was doing edits before we called it edits. Like we were calling them fan vids. This is like late 2010s YouTube and we were making full on like cinematic masterpieces. It wasn't like a 15 second video that you've put on your, your social media. It was like a YouTube video. Like we. Five minutes we were adding. So that's how I learned how to edit. Was doing fan vids on YouTube and One Direction, that was the height that was. That was it like. [00:02:44] Speaker A: Yeah, no, that. That's how it started, Truly. And you know, I just feel like the love that they gave to their fans and the love we gave to each other, it was such a safe space. And it's so funny, like I've been saying, you know, I feel like the One Direction days with the Nicolandria and this community that we found in them and today it's just been so nice to connect with other directioners because today feels really heavy. [00:03:19] Speaker B: We need the community. [00:03:20] Speaker A: We need it. We need the community. So bad because today feels so hard because we've been through so. [00:03:30] Speaker B: Oh gosh, I know we're gonna Cry. [00:03:32] Speaker A: I'm getting choked up. [00:03:33] Speaker B: No, like, are we getting choked up? We're gonna cry. I'm not joking. [00:03:40] Speaker A: It's just a lot harder having like the. The first anniversary without Liam. [00:03:46] Speaker B: Yes, that's the heaviest part. It's. It's really painful. [00:03:51] Speaker A: It's just something we never expected to experience so early. You know, I was thinking, like, they would outlive me. [00:04:01] Speaker B: No, truly. [00:04:03] Speaker A: Yeah, it just. It just hits different. Especially because he always was like, on the anniversary. He was. It was like clockwork, you know, like, he was the one who really, like, kept acknowledging it. Not that like all of them did it, but him in particular. Like, he. He was. He was still there, right? [00:04:22] Speaker B: Him and Lou were very much just like, hi, boys. Miss you guys. Best years of my life. Like, him and Louis just attached at the hip by the end. And they had some rough waters there during their tenure, if you will. But love that they came together as boys. God, what the. Towards the end of Liam's life is what I'm saying. Jesus Christ. But yeah, it is so heavy that it's not that it's. That it's the first year without him. I was literally like in my bed cry. Like sound crazy, but I was in my bed crying because I was. I was. It's a. It's a different, deeper level, I'd say for me, because not different from you, but just like, I feel like from like the discourse that seeing on the Internet today and just in general about One Direction, because there's so many of. So much of their fan base was in elementary, middle school when they were at their prime. You and me were full grown adult. Like I was freshman year, freshman in college when they're first went up all night came out. So every year that an album came out, I associate with like a new year of college. And then the last one was when I moved to Chicago for the, like, first time. And it was like every. There were so many pivotal moments in those five years that I associate with my life and what. That. That's what I was. I was listening to One Direction and I was obsessing over One Direction. Let's. Let's be for real. But it's. [00:05:53] Speaker A: It's. [00:05:54] Speaker B: I was like in my bed crying today because. Because there's a lot of kind of sad, dark memories from those days too. And One Direction was always. Who uplifted and brought those funks and helps me remember the kind of. The good times of the years circa 2010-2016. [00:06:18] Speaker A: No, a thousand percent. It reminds me of just Being. Those were like my early 20s. It was like my late teens, early 20s. So it was such a pivotal part of becoming an adult. [00:06:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:36] Speaker A: And also not wanting to grow up. [00:06:39] Speaker B: So I'll live while we're young, baby. Live while we're girl. And how many times we can drop a song title throughout this? [00:06:51] Speaker A: Honey, by the end of this, we're going to have no control. But yeah, I just feel like, you know this. I just so remember, like, going to work at Barnes and Noble and listening to their music and making them play it at the store. Like, oh, yeah. I don't know, I just feel like I wouldn't be. It sounds so dramatic. It's so crazy. Like, it's truly like such a parasocial relationship with these boys. But I don't know, I just feel like I wouldn't be the person, you know what I mean? Like, literally with those fans, like just meeting those people and those fans and that community. And I'm just so grateful to the five of them. And even fucking Simon Cowell, bro. Like, thank you for giving me One Direction. Kelly Clarkson, Magic and Fantasia. [00:07:58] Speaker B: Like, and Fantasia. Oh my God. [00:08:01] Speaker A: Hudson too. Of course. Jennifer Hudson too. But I'm just so grateful to have been a part of such a special cherished time in pop culture and the zeitgeist. Truly, like, you had to be there. Like, for real. Like One direction on fucking YouTube and Tumblr. I have full. Oh my God, I'm. And I'm hard. [00:08:23] Speaker B: And I'm hard fucking yearning. [00:08:26] Speaker A: I am yearning, yearning for the 2013 Tumblr days on One Direction. [00:08:32] Speaker B: No, that's so crazy. Like, literally, I'm putting my laptop. [00:08:37] Speaker A: Cut the cameras dead ass. [00:08:38] Speaker B: No, and that's. I love that you said that too, because there's so many people online who are like, 2015-2017, Tumblr was like the it. I'm like, what are you talking about? Clearly you were not on Tumblr circa 2009-2013. Okay. That was Tumblr. [00:08:55] Speaker A: That was Tumblr down. [00:08:58] Speaker B: Oh, and it's bag, cuz. [00:09:01] Speaker A: That was like Twilight. That was One Direction. That was the Hunger Games. [00:09:06] Speaker B: That was Hunger Games Prime. That was True Blood. Like, I was. I actually, I made True Blood Reaction videos and kind of got low key. Famous. [00:09:18] Speaker A: Tumblr famous. [00:09:19] Speaker B: I wasn't Tumblr famous, but I will say I. I got to college and I was literally. Wait, this is crazy. I'm remembering this. I don't know if Angela Wilkerson listens to this, but, like, shout out Angela Wilkerson, because I friended her on. On Tumblr. She started liking all my stuff, and then I was like, oh, my God, you're so cool. Like, let's be friends. And we were friends on Tumblr. Okay? This is the lore. But I was basically. I got to my. I got to. Oh, you. University of Oklahoma, my freshman year, I'm waiting in line at the taco restaurant in the cafeteria, and I hear from behind me, someone go, are you me, Flood? And I turn around, and I was like, yes. And she goes, mud, flood. And I go, yes. And she was like. She was like, I follow you on Tumblr. I'm Angela. I was like, oh, my God, it was crazy, dude. I was like, low key. I felt so famous. I. I mean, I didn't have that many followers, but the follow. But it comes back to what you were saying. The followers and the community on Tumblr, but the 1D Tumblr community, specifically, y' all were bad bitches. We were. We were absolute, like, community. Capital C. Kunt. Munity. [00:10:30] Speaker A: Cut. Munity. Hondo. Hondo. [00:10:33] Speaker B: Hundo. [00:10:36] Speaker A: And we also. Shut up. And we also all supported each other. That's another thing, too. It was like. It wasn't like, competitive or anything like that. It was like, oh, you made something. I'm gonna reshare it. I'm gonna like it. You know what I mean? It was so supportive, you know? And I. Ugh. Too good. It just was such a. It really. You had to fucking be there. And if you were not, I feel bad. I truly feel bad if you did not get to experience that, because it was such a fucking fun time that I'm yearning for, right? [00:11:14] Speaker B: She loves a year, and she loves a year, but this is yearning for something that will never be again. And how wonderful and beautiful is it that we got that? We got that. That we got to be Delulu crazy fangirls for six years and just not. Not judge ourselves for it. Not be. I'm not gonna apologize for the way I acted, okay? And it's crazy. Like, there are people that only know me during that era. Like, if you're listening to this. And we went to college together, you know, that One Direction was a part of my brand, like, hardcore. I was delusional, babe. Like, I mean, people were buying me. Like, we would do, like, gift exchanges in my school of drama. People would buy me 1D memorabilia. I still have a blanket and, like, and a pillow. I mean, people. People knew that was a part of who I was. I even. Wait, can I tell this story. I'm sorry. Okay. [00:12:12] Speaker A: Oh, go off queen. Yes. [00:12:15] Speaker B: So Take me Home Tour 2013. It was summer. My godmother flew me down to Atlanta to go see them for, like, a Christmas birthday combined present. She was like, I know you're obsessed with them. My cousin Kate is also obsessed with them. She was at high school at the time. [00:12:30] Speaker A: Okay. [00:12:30] Speaker B: And I was about to be a junior in college, I think. And we stood outside of the Ritz Carlton all day before going to see the show at night. And let me tell you, it was absolutely insane. That was a cr. I was like, I didn't actually come here to do this, but I'll. I'll exist in this little parking lot full of 2, 200 girls waiting outside to see a member of One Direction. We saw Liam. Liam. We saw Liam and Louis come out of their. The tour bus to go into the hotel. There were, like, security guards everywhere. There were girls swarming. It was crazy. It was like a literal movie of girls just swarming, swarming. All these. These teeny bopper boy band dudes. And then at one point, this is my favorite. This is my fit. I can die. Like, you can murder me right now. I'm good because of this one moment. Zayn pulls up to the tour bus, and again, I was kind of just existing. I was not one of those. Like, I was 20 years old. I'm not gonna chase a car down a main road to see. Get a glimpse of Niall Horan. I'm sorry. I love you, Niall, but I wasn't on that level. But I was a. I was there with them. So all of the. The car with Zayn pulls up, and all of these girls start pushing to get to the front, so I get pushed to the front as well, because I'm just, like, in the mass crowd and I'm at the front. He lowers the window down a little bit, and it's kind of like right at his nose. And he's looking around like, hey, hey, how are you? Like, smiling. And then he looks at me, and he can tell I'm literally just standing there. Like, I'm just like. [00:14:09] Speaker A: I don't know what to do. [00:14:10] Speaker B: I feel like I'm gonna get thrown to the ground and, like, stomped on. Like, it was that insane. He looks at me and he gives. He smile. He doesn't smile at anyone else. Okay. He gives me a little smile, and he gives me a little, like, sup? Like, kind of nod. And I then turned into. [00:14:31] Speaker A: I was, like, feral now. [00:14:32] Speaker B: Then I turned feral. Oh, my God. [00:14:35] Speaker A: Gosh. [00:14:35] Speaker B: Reliving all these moments today. [00:14:37] Speaker A: I know. And I feel like, you know, it feels different this year because it's a mix of nostalgia and grief. [00:14:45] Speaker B: Yes. [00:14:45] Speaker A: And I just really wanted to. It's just a different form of, like, pain and sadness. You know what I mean? Like, missing someone that you never met. Like, I feel like I've had that a lot this week between Robin Williams birthday, Malcolm Jawal Warner passing away, and now the 15th anniversary of one Direction. I don't know, I feel like it's just a different level of pain and confusion. But also, it is nice to, like, reflect on the happy times and listening to the music. Like, when I tell you. I literally was listening to. I started with up all Night and just kept going at work. And I had my headphones in. Girl bopping, crying girl AM comes on, I start crying. I start crying. I cried out my client. I started crying on my client. I literally shed a tear on her. And luckily, she was passed out snoring with her mask on. [00:15:50] Speaker B: Blink. [00:15:51] Speaker A: And it was literally a tear, a single tear. And I said, okay, you gotta get it together. Okay. Let's not, you know, save that. Save that. That for at home. Save that for the pod, but. [00:16:04] Speaker B: Right. Save the pillow. Yes. [00:16:06] Speaker A: I just feel so grateful for this community and the memories and the. The joy. [00:16:14] Speaker B: Memories. Oh. [00:16:21] Speaker A: No. I just like, oh, my God, I'm. [00:16:24] Speaker B: Gonna have an aneurysm. [00:16:25] Speaker A: No, literally, I just feel like One Direction is just. It's forever, and I'm just so. [00:16:30] Speaker B: One Direction is forever. We were going. We're gonna go in One Direction forever. We're gonna stand these boys forever down. [00:16:40] Speaker A: No, I will literally support all of them forever. Like, no. Yeah. I'm, like, always writing for my boys. One thing about me, I'm always writing for my boys. Okay, so, like, pull up. [00:16:53] Speaker B: I'm writing. I literally think about, you know, like, sometimes you think about your wedding, and, like, maybe I'll be getting to marry to Niall Horan. Who? Snail. If you're watching this, I love you and I would like to kiss. But I think about my wedding, and I'm like, what would I have the DJ play? Like, what's the playlist? And I. I'm just like. It's just the entire discography of One Direction. Like, can you imagine? Like, I'm in a white, cute white dress? Or, like, at your wedding, you're in a cute white. And we're just raging to Stock syndrome. [00:17:27] Speaker A: My favorite 1D song. Okay, I know that's, like, hard to pick one, but that Song literally gave me a visceral reaction. The first time I heard that song. I was literally like. [00:17:41] Speaker B: It was like those tick tocks where you're like, rising, like, literally rising from the dead coming out of my body. Yeah. Stockholm syndrome. [00:17:51] Speaker A: Really? [00:17:51] Speaker B: Is that. She really. [00:17:52] Speaker A: Is that that? [00:17:55] Speaker B: Yeah, it is hard to pick one, but yeah, that. [00:17:58] Speaker A: I know. Like, if you. Okay, so maybe if we don't do song. Give me. [00:18:05] Speaker B: No, you're. I won't. No, don't ask me that question. I know. You don't even have to ask it. Just ask it anyway. For the purposes of the pod, I'm probably blowing out the speaker. Purposes of the pod. [00:18:19] Speaker A: Per pod purposes. [00:18:21] Speaker B: Per pod purposes. [00:18:23] Speaker A: I was gonna say your favorite album. If you can't do single and your favorite boy. [00:18:29] Speaker B: Okay, well, favorite boy is Niall down. Like, again, I would. [00:18:32] Speaker A: I know the thing. That's your man. That's your man. [00:18:38] Speaker B: I was actually a Liam girly to start Harry's kind of the through line. It's okay. Wait, now I can't now. Having another animal, it literally changed it. [00:18:46] Speaker A: No, it changes even when the night changes. [00:18:51] Speaker B: It literally changes every night when I'm fantasizing about a different boy. It's like Nile down. But Liam, I was an og. Like, Liam was my first. Liam was my. My first. And I'm thinking forever Niall, though. I think I'm forever Niall. And in terms of album, I simply won't answer the question because again, every album was pivotal in, like, a shifting moment of my life. [00:19:16] Speaker A: That's true. [00:19:16] Speaker B: But I will say I do remember turning on speaking of Made in the am, I do remember playing that in the Ashland house. Okay. This was a month after I moved to Chicago. I think it came out. I'm pretty sure it came out November or December and of 2016. [00:19:36] Speaker A: Yeah, November 13th. [00:19:38] Speaker B: Yep. Okay. Liter. A literal month after I moved to Chicago, I put on Made in the am. I played in the DVD player on the mantle. Okay. You. We live together. You know exactly the spot, the place. [00:19:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:52] Speaker B: And the way that I just danced and twirled to hey, angel and just was like. It was like a. It was like a truly coming out of my body moment of I live here like I live in Chicago. I'm on my own. I'm 22. The world is my fucking oyster. And then hey, Angel Place. I felt like I was. [00:20:13] Speaker A: I felt like I was. I. [00:20:16] Speaker B: Like I. Elevated off the ground. I Elevated off the ground. So maybe made in the a.m. if I just had to pick a moment that I will never forget. Also Walking in the Wind from that album. Walking in the Wind is my number one favorite song. And I love that song specifically because I remember exactly where I was. It was like such a mundane moment, but I remember so specifically listening to that song in that moment. Okay, that answers all the questions, I think so. [00:20:40] Speaker A: It's funny. Besides Up All Night, all of their albums came out around my birthday. [00:20:45] Speaker B: Oh, that makes. [00:20:47] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Literally a week before, if not a couple of days before. So of course, like, they always hit different for me because it was like. [00:20:56] Speaker B: A little birthday treat. [00:20:57] Speaker A: Like, I'm so lucky for my birthday because it's always a good ass movie. Like, right? Always. It's literally always banger. And I used to have One Direction I will never forget. Oh, my God. [00:21:11] Speaker B: Give it to me. [00:21:12] Speaker A: I think it was. It was. I think it was fucking Take Me Home. And it was. That came out within a week of a Twilight movie. And I literally was like, I can't. I'm talking about. You could kill me now, right? I can literally kill me in the theater after I listen to the album. [00:21:35] Speaker B: Why wasn't anyone direction songs on the soundtrack for Twilight? That's my question. [00:21:41] Speaker A: That is a good question. Let's ask them. Come on. K Stew our pats because they were being indie, even though the music did slap on Twilight. That's another episode I'm gonna say for me. Oh, it's so hard to pick one album because I feel like Take Me Home was really. When I locked in up all night, I was like, oh, okay. And like, I remember seeing them on X Factor and being like, oh, they're so cute. [00:22:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:12] Speaker A: But then Take Me Home was when I was like, oh, oh, that's what we're doing. And then Midnight Memories. I said, oh, I'm locked. I am locked the fuck in. Oh, my God. [00:22:28] Speaker B: Inject it injected into my fucking veins. [00:22:32] Speaker A: Not even. I need a fucking nuclear fusion with this shit. How about I just. Man, I. I just love them. I mean, they're the story of my life. Story of our lives. [00:22:44] Speaker B: Well, you said take me home is when you locked in. And I'm like, yeah. Because they started giving us a little subliminal messages in that. [00:22:53] Speaker A: No. [00:22:53] Speaker B: They're like, if we get together. Yeah, get together. Don't let the pictures leave your phone. I'm like, oh, oh. We're doing a little camera play with this, Mr. Malik. [00:23:07] Speaker A: Oh, if I had to pick a boy. The boy is hard. The boy is hard because I. Harry, horny little Harry. I fucking. Oh, God, I. I love. I love Harry, like, I love. Like you said, Harry's the through line. Like, yeah, Harry's everybody's guy. Harry's like the. The. The Michael, the Justin, the. You know. [00:23:35] Speaker B: Right. [00:23:36] Speaker A: Yep, yep. But I've been back and forth. I did. I went through a Liam phase, for sure. [00:23:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:44] Speaker A: I went through a Louis phase. I have never gone through a Niall phase. I'm sorry. I think he would be a great friend. I think we'd be really good friends. But Zayn, Saddy Zayn. [00:23:59] Speaker B: I mean, talk about a through line. Talk about a through line. Through line, bro. [00:24:03] Speaker A: I have been. That has been. Oh, my God. Oh, my good. Like, how can you look at that man? And not like, yes, he broke it up, but also, so did Jerry. And I still love Jerry from Spice Girls. [00:24:19] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I was like, who's Jerry? [00:24:22] Speaker A: You're like, is there a Jerry? Is there a Jerry in the man? No, but, like, you know what I mean? Like, I know people feel some kind of way because he left and he doesn't really with it like that, but, like, he'll come around. [00:24:34] Speaker B: But those boys were so overworked, those boys, truly. So. Oh, they put in an album a year for five years straight. Are you kidding? Like, you don't have your mental health. Touring on top of a.2 world tour, three world tours, I don't even know. Touring every year, doing an album on tour, like, that's crazy. Your mental health is crazy. I don't blame him for leaving. Like, get out of there. Go tend to yourself. Like, go have a cute baby with a cute woman. And like, I don't know, like. [00:25:07] Speaker A: Right. And I do feel like it very much came full circle for Liam doing built in the band and that being his last swan song, being able to build a band, something that he did. I mean. Oh. So I just wanted to do this episode with my girlie and shout out to all the directioners that are listening. And I wish this is a virtual hug from us. We know today. Today is heavy. Today is heavy. But it's also full of gratitude and just cherishing those memories. And I'm so glad we just got to dish about it a little bit because, you know, we just were talking about it all day with our friend. Shout out, Demma. Love you so much. Directioner down. And I was like, we just have to fucking do a little something to just give the girlies, the directioners, some light on what could be a tough day for. For us. Just the first Annie without all five of the boys. So. [00:26:19] Speaker B: Yeah. And you know what? You guys go pop some popcorn and put on this is Us. And, you know, just live in, like, the best. Every era of One Direction is great, but, like, that pivotal time of them touring for Take Me Home. Just go live in that. Just go live in that. [00:26:40] Speaker A: Truly. Yeah, Try. Try to live in the happy times versus the grief you may be feeling right now. So thanks for being a part of the little bite size 1D. Kiki. Thank you for being here, Meg. And we'll have a full episode for you guys this week, so you'll be hearing from me again. Lucky you. Love you guys. Bye, Sam.